Emotional Rollercoaster!

Okay so since I don't have a working camera and haven't been able to catch any new moments of Makayla (which I'm totally bummed about ugh) and have been looking at my blog lately totally sad that I cant add pictures I thought well...I could always tell the world how I'm feeling in this moment so here I go...

Lately I have been feeling so sad that I'm still not pregnant. We are going on 11 months of actively "trying" although we've never used anything so thinking like that gets me ever more frustrated (sorry if tmi). Don't get me wrong I'm so grateful that I even have a baby, she is just amazing, but that's kind of what gets us even more sad because we know how much we love her and we just want to experience that with another one and have a sibling for Makayla not to mention we want 5 kids and yes you didn't ready that wrong we want 5! ha but...why in the heck does it have to take so long and be such a process? I know its not like we've been trying for years so why am I so down? There are so many women in this world that cant even have children, but then again there are so many women and young girls that get pregnant and they don't even want to be. I know whether they want to be or it just happens its all hard. 6 months or 2 years when your ready its still so hard when each month nothing happens.
I had an ultrasound done a few weeks ago and some other simple tests and everything came back normal so what the heck. There are defiantly days that are better than others and I haven't really stressed too much about it, until just recently and its not so much stress its just sadness. I feel like everyday there is another person on facebook (ha yes facebook) that is announcing they are pregnant, or women in church who are pregnant and I'm over joy'd with happiness for them, but cant help but get emotional. I have been telling myself when the time is right it will happen for so long, and that's how it was when we were trying for Makayla (it took a year to get pregnant with her) but then I wonder why cant the time be right this month? or even next? I don't know I'm just so emotional I probably shouldn't even be sharing all this. Okay I know I have to suck it up, because I know I'm not the only one in the world going through this (although it feels like it sometimes) and be grateful for my beautiful daughter and to not give up hope and move forward.

Anyways I'm going to quit writing now sometimes it feels better to write things down then hold it all in, except I don't really know if this is one of those times. =(

Grand Canyon 2010

okay so our camera broke sometime during one of our trips and it lost all of our pictures =( so here are just a few that I got from some of my family of our Grand Canyon Trip. We have had such a great summer. We went to Jamaica, California a few times, Utah, Flagstaff, and the Grand Canyon. It has been very busy for us, but we are now home and enjoying our relaxing time.

The views were amazing, it was Roberts first time going to the Grand Canyon so it was great experiencing it again with him and Makayla. (we watched her like a hawk) it is pretty dang scary bringing kids there but we all survived!

We had the Sorensen family reunion in Flagstaff and had a great time. It was a little interesting camping in a tent with Makayla for the first time. Lets just say we probably wont be camping for quite a while, but it was still great being with family. Luckily after the Reunion my parents and brothers stayed in a cabin the rest of the time so it was pretty fun.


all in all we had a wonderful time on all our different vacations. We got to be with Robs family in Utah where Makayla got to hang out with her cousins which she loved. We all went to Lagoon and had lots of fun, and we got to visit our good friends Russ and Kristen and their little boy Baylor who we hadn't seen since before we even got pregnant with our kids so it was awesome to see them as well. It was great going to Cali for the Millers reunion and hanging out at the beach (even though it was overcast most of the time). I'm sad all our vacations are over until thanksgiving and Christmas, but I do have to say how happy we are to not be driving anymore. Makayla did not to well in the car. I hate that we live so far from all our family from both sides, but feel so lucky and blessed to have each one of them in our lives and for all their support. Thanks everyone for making our trips so memorable (even if I couldn't capture them on camera)